Drunken’ Celebrities

Well today I was on one of my humor pages (cracked.com) and I ran across a spot they did of utube videos of the top ten drunken celebrities. I added a few my self I found surfing Utube and made it into my Sunday 7 reasons to take the day off. These days I am in a little drying up process. I don’t drink excessive amounts but I do like a beer or five every once and awhile. I am trying to take a little break for awhile and this was much inspiration. Since it is Sunday I though I’d shorten the list to the top seven and make it the top seven reasons why I am going to dry up this week….

These are some good reasons to stay dry.

#1 Famous party boy Kiefer Sutherland

“Kiefer you’re a Pirate man.” I have never been quite so drunk as running straight into a Christmas tree. I do remember one day in my decadent youth Entering a competition to try and run through a wall. (A good reason why I would never want to be a landlord in a college town.) the attempt was unsuccessful and I woke up with some nasty bruises and Rasberries. Well at least Kiefer isn’t doing speedballs anymore-I think he’s settled down.

#2.Trailer Park Queen Superstar Diva Britney Spears

Would anybody want to spend the day with this person? As far as I remember I dated a woman like that once while I was drinking a lot. I think she lived in Aurora Colorado and had three kids in a three room apartment. After the sex is over it’s like, hey, is there a remote control on this drunk woman in denial or what.

This Girl does a pretty good job trying to play Britanny but if shows you that it is very hard part to play!!!! She should audition if the Spears Story ever comes out!

What’s the IQ on Britney? This is proof that intelligence and size of bank account are not correlated. The guy whose filming is a brave guy to hang out with this drunken’ little country Mrs. Bubba-(sorry, I am a snot….)

Impersonation of Britney ordering Pizza

Another pretty good Britney impersonator I found. Better than the last girl but no offense either way…I love spoofs.

#3 Drunken George II back in the early 90’s

This guy is one hell of a smart ass. He reminds me of going to a party with a bunch or young republicans. These guys like to get rip roaring drunk in suits and ties. The one thing though, when I watch this video and ask myself, do I want to party with the Commander and chief, the answer is a definite yes, maybe. Will I be getting any invitations down to Walker, TX-I very much doubt it. Of well, at least I’ll stay sober……

The last one was real but here is one I found that is probably a spoof

You never know though……..

#4 Paula Abdul on morning TV still spun out from the night before

(If you tune in very carefully with headphones you can hear the people on Paula’s Soundstage holding back laughter!) This is why Cocaine was never a drug of choice for me. Just watch her facial tics and her lips and Jaw. I think she was up all night fdrinking Stoli and snorting lines of Coke off Simon’s treasure trail. Anyway this former Rock Star diva can still party, I think I’ll stay home tonight.

Paula Spun out on the shopping channel.

#5 Alex Trabeck from Jeopardy drinking on the set.

You always knew that this guy is probably a jerk off the set- this proves it. A lot of people can get a way with drinking on the job. I’ve worked in Engineering departments where we all go off to lunch on Friday and come back to the office crocked and go back to work. It’s harder to keep it together but than again there are also a lot of coffee and vodka types in the working world. I work better sober…..

This leads to bad things

It appears that  Alex has a little momentary loss of control. Notice the tic of him taking an imaginary drink. I think the word strobe set him off. Just my guess.

#6 PAris and NIkki Hilton at a house party

Ok these two little messed up stick figures are actually celebrities. A few observations-

I. They can’t dance

II. They can barely stand up

II. They have more make-up on than a French whore

IV. I’d surely hate to see them with the makeup off

V. These little rich girls are sure stuck-up little rednecks-(“Public School Bitch…??”) I guess that’s an insult.

VI. It’s a good thing Gramps gave there trust funds to charity

I think I’ll stay out of the clubs for a long while.

Here’s a great low budget Paris Hilton spoof video I found

Yes, a girl like that who uses the N word ought to go to jail in LA county!!

#7. David Hasselhoff intervention with his 16 year old daughter.

The older you get the more pathetic you are when you are beyond sloshed. This guys the testament to cumulative effect. Than again before he was on Baywatch this guy was a Rock Star in Germany. This says it all……..come on David, you don’t want to let poor Dirk Nowitski down do you, he’s depending on you for a new album.

Hasselhoff Puppet

Well that’s my Sunday top #7 reasons why I am going to dry out until February. And than even so, these are 7 reasons why moderation is the key.

Well, I can’t figure out what I’m going to do today but regarless, relaxation is the key!!!~