Well, I weathered the weekend just fine. I am nice and dried out and ready for the week ahead-which is a good thing because I need to start cranking. Yesterday was an extended exercise in trying to rewire my sub-conscious. Activity in support of my theory that simple resolutions don’t work. The key is to send constant stimuli to the mind so it can rewire itself. This is inspired by the work by Joseph Murphy called The Power of Your Subconscious Mind. I have only read about half of the book at this point. The main idea within is that it is your core thought processes you have buried in your subconscious mind, the beliefs about yourself and the conceptions you have about your life, the thoughts that have been hard wired into your brain, that dictate the way that your life ends up. Ultimately, if you belief something enough about yourself than you become that person because it becomes wired into your subconscious. Language and all thought processes are like computer programming and it is important to send your self the right messages. The totality of people’s experiences in the world, beginning with childhood, hardwires there brain. the PoYSM states that it is possible to bring change into your life by reprogramming your mind.
When Bart Simpson writes two hundred times, I will not talk in class, that is a method of neuro-programming. Making lists and writing down goals are the same thing. It’s one thing to just say something and than forget it. It’s another to think a thought and than it diappears. But when you write something down you are taking the third step and putting into a record. That’s what yesterday’s blog was all about the 14 reasons to dry up was effective although also humorous. Behind the humor in laughing at Celebrity’s out of control there is a profound melancholy. I can relate to some of those situations and see how hollow life is when you are fucked up-things just pass you by,(quoting Britney) The 14 reasons why I want to stay dry are compelling enough on their own. Now I will revisit them and realize in order to strive for a better life one must gain control over one’s life and future well being. My problems are moderate but in the past-I’ve been there.
I believe there are no setbacks in life. Setbacks can become new stepping stones. Life is a continuous Journey following a linear path like a river through time. At the same time a non-linear reality intrudes as one interfaces with the world and its people. I am trying to find out what my higher purpose is here so I can feed my sub-conscious mind. I have to get a hold of that Josephy Murphy book again-I always sell it very fast on Amazon if I have it in stock.
Well today it’s focus on my book business for a few weeks. I have other business ideas brewing as well. I might put CNN on in the background again so I can get pissed off again-we’ll see. I haven’t had my morning coffee, ye,t so it’s time to go-total relaxation.
As if last post wasn’t enough I am looking for more reasons to dry out for a spell. In the name of creativity I’ve created my own list- DUI Stars Behind Bars. Here’s more reasons to stay in tonight and stay off the streets.
#1 Celebrity DUI-Kiefer Sutherland-Starring in Christmas in the County.
Yes I guess the old KS man who saves the world routinely on TV, will be in the metal stamping shop for Christmas. Actually in the soft-time celebrity jail maybe he’ll spend it in Arts and Craft room.
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Kiefer Sutherland begins his 48 day sentence tonight after turning himself into Glendale city jail. He is serving his time for his second DUI, this one from September. The actor will get his own cell and have to participate in daily chores like laundry and kitchen duty and will wear the typical orange jumpsuit. He will sadly be spending his birthday and the upcoming holidays behind bars (unless he gets lucky and somehow works the Nicole Richie overcrowded deal to be released early).
The bad news is this is more of a reason to expect 24 not to return anytime soon. As if the writers’ strike wasn’t cause enough, we can’t have 24 without Jack Bauer. Finally, it’s too bad we already posted our Best of 2007 Mug Shot Poll because we think Kiefer could have given Shia some tough competition.
#2 Celebrity DUI # 2 Paris Behind Bars
Not much needs to be said about this one. If you’re that wealthy than why not get a chauffeur but than, who would want to steal a young woman’s freedom from her, for heaven’s sake? Especially in LA where public transportation isn’t very safe or sane. I think I’ll stay off the streets in Bel Aire and the various Hills if I’m ever out there.
In this utube video she is out of jail and supposedly starting a new life. To me she appears slightly buzzed based on her body language and speech patterns. Maybe just a few cocktails in the Mezzanine of the Hotel before she went to the taping. The body language says it to me with the head cocked lightly to the side. The voice sounds rough and a bit jagged. Half the time she looks like she’s holding back giggles. Occasionally she reverts to this completely vacuous look.
Larry King Interview
Does Paris have a brain? Decide for yourself.
#3 Celebrity DUI Lindsay Lohan.
This ankle bracelet queen is another reason to not drink and drive.
Stars Behind Bars: Arrested Celebrities
This booking photo provided by the Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Department shows Lindsay Lohan. A Sheriff’s spokesman said Lohan surrendered to the Los Angeles County women’s detention center in Lynwood at 10:30 a.m. Thursday Nov. 15, 2007, to serve a one-day sentence for drunken driving. She was searched, fingerprinted and placed in a holding cell in the inmate reception area but got to keep her street clothes.
(LA County Sheriff’s Department/ AP Photo)
This equation mostly has the Common Denominator Cocaine and DUI’s. The scary non-operator-OJ-this guy is still on the lose.
#4 Nicole Ritchie-Keeping up with the Hilton
Driving the wrong way onto an express ramp? Take the keys away from this Pop Music princess come “Reality Star.”
Here’s she is looking like she might fall down?
LYNWOOD, Calif., Aug. 23, 2007
(CBS/AP) Nicole Richie was released from jail Thursday, just 82 minutes after the pregnant actress checked in for what was originally a 90-hour sentence for driving under the influence of drugs.
The reality show star, who checked into jail in this Los Angeles suburb at 3:15 p.m., was released at 4:37 p.m. “based on her sentence and federal guidelines,” Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Deputy Maribel Rizo said without elaborating.
When asked whether Richie spent her brief sentence in a jail cell, Rizo replied: “No further comment.”
A call to Richie’s attorney, Shawn Chapman Holley, was not immediately returned Thursday. An e-mail message to publicist Nicole Perna was not immediately answered.
The reality show star entered a county jail for women in this Los Angeles suburb shortly after 3 p.m., Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Deputy Johnie Jones said.
It’s the same facility that housed her “The Simple Life” co-star Paris Hilton for nearly three weeks after she was convicted of driving on a suspended license while on probation for an alcohol-related reckless driving case.
It was reported earlier this month that Richie wanted to do her time in the Los Angeles County jail.
Richie’s lawyer contacted the county sheriff’s department earlier this week and indicated the reality TV star wanted to serve her four-day sentence in county lockup rather than a city jail, sheriff’s spokesman Steve Whitmore said Thursday.
Whitmore said he had no additional details at the time, including when Richie might surrender to begin the sentence that she had to complete by Sept. 28.
At the county jail, inmates often serve only a fraction of their sentence for various reasons, including overcrowding and good behavior.
A call to Richie’s attorney, Shawn Chapman Holley, was not immediately returned.
The county has a special women’s-only facility in Lynwood. It’s the same place where Richie’s friend Paris Hilton recently completed a 23-day stay for violating probation in an alcohol-related reckless driving case.
Richie said in an interview last month that becoming pregnant made her realize that she needed to change her life and take responsibility.
“I owe the baby my life,” she told Diane Sawyer on an interview aired on ABC’s “Good Morning America.” “I owe this baby everything and I have a responsibility now. I’m now responsible for someone else. I need to set the right example.”
With her rocker boyfriend Joel Madden at her side, Richie explained what happened on Dec. 12, the night she was arrested for driving under the influence.
She said she was driving on the freeway near Glendale, Calif., a neighborhood unfamiliar to the 25-year-old reality star.
“When I was getting off the off ramp, instead of making a left to get on the street, I went back on the off ramp,” she said. “And I was in such shock that I just stopped the car. Then, within two seconds, police were there and we got off the freeway.”
Richie admitted that she had been smoking marijuana and had taken the prescription painkiller Vicodin earlier in the day. She said she thought she was OK to drive.
Velvet Revolver Singer Scott Weiland Arrested For DUI
Incident occurred on November 21; singer is denying charges.
By Gil Kaufman
Velvet Revolver singer Scott Weiland, who has struggled with drug addiction for much of his music career, was arrested for driving under the influence on November 21 in Los Angeles. He is due in court on December 13. According to a copy of the arrest report posted by TMZ.com on Monday (December 3) and confirmed by a California law-enforcement source, Weiland was driving on a Los Angeles highway around 6:18 p.m. of the 21st when he was involved in a non-injury collision in which it was determined he was at fault. “While the police were investigating the traffic collision, Weiland exhibited signs of impairment,” the report read. “The investigation officer administered a series of field sobriety tests to the driver, which he was unable to satisfactorily perform.” The singer was arrested for driving under the influence of a drug and then taken to the LAPD jail in Van Nuys, California, where he allegedly refused to take a blood or urine test. He was later released on $40,000 bail, an amount that is much higher than the typical misdemeanor bail in such a case, likely due to the singer’s prior arrests. On Monday, the singer’s management issued a statement saying, “Scott Weiland was recently involved in a minor accident in Los Angeles and denies he was driving under the influence. He voluntarily took a Breathalyzer test, which the defense believes registers well within the legal limit. He is anxious to get to court on December 13 and clear this matter up.” Last month, Velvet Revolver canceled their forthcoming tour of Japan and recently postponed their Australian trek, owing to “the increasingly tough Japanese immigration officials … taking exception with the backgrounds of various band members, which have included arrests,” according to a post on the group’s Web site. Weiland has been arrested multiple times over the past decade for a variety of drug offenses in California and New York, and has spent time in jail on several occasions. He was arrested in 2003 in Hollywood after a traffic accident and charged with driving under the influence of drugs and alcohol, though those charges were eventually dismissed after he successfully completed a drug rehab program and submitted to drug tests. Weiland, 40, who has not yet been charged by the Los Angeles City Attorney’s office, has spoken in the past of putting his drug years behind him. In a 2005 issue of Esquire magazine, he claimed that he was off drugs for good. “The prospect of losing my wife and my children changed everything,” he told the magazine about the struggles he’s had with second wife, Mary Forsberg, over his drug use; the couple have two children. “I don’t think anymore about getting high.”#6 Kumar Barve- Another drunken’ Congressman but this guy is the least likely so it would seem! This guy is a politician but in a way politician’s are like celebrities. The only real difference is that they are supposed to be accountable for there actions. This doesn’t always stop them though. This man is the House Majority leader and a minority being Asian-Indian-a very esteemed man.The House Majority leader drives home from his local a little tipsy and pop-he joins the club. This illustrates the fact that this could happen to anybody. Still the irony is that this is the man who spearheaded the legislature to make drunk driving even more illegal. This should be caution to everybody who goes out on the road after a few drinks. I think I am going on foot to the bar for now own.
Washington Post Staff Writers
Saturday, December 1, 2007; Page B01
Maryland House Majority Leader Kumar P. Barve was arrested Thursday night in Gaithersburg and charged with driving while impaired by alcohol, Gaithersburg police said.
Barve, a Montgomery County Democrat, has advocated stricter laws against drunken driving. The 49-year-old lawmaker, who lives in Gaithersburg, did not respond yesterday to a message left on his cellphone.
Del. Luiz R.S. Simmons (D), a lawyer who along with Barve represents District 17, said last night that he will serve as Barve’s attorney in the case. He declined to comment about the incident.
Barve, who was first elected to the House of Delegates in 1990 and has been majority leader since 2003, is among the most powerful delegates in the House. He sits on the influential Ways and Means Committee and is chairman of its subcommittee on revenue.
He supported a 2003 change in state law that made it illegal for people to drive within 12 hours of getting arrested on an alcohol or drug charge.
According to Gaithersburg police, Barve pulled out of a parking lot at 219 E. Diamond Ave., which is in a commercial area in Old Town Gaithersburg, about 11:40 p.m. Thursday. Officer Shane Eastman noticed a green Acura Integra drive out a driveway marked as an entrance, police Sgt. Rudy Wagner said.
Eastman saw the car cross over the double yellow line on East Diamond Avenue and pulled Barve over, Wagner said.
The officer smelled alcohol when he approached the driver, Wagner said. “He admitted he had been drinking alcohol,” Wagner said. “He was cooperative.”
The officer administered a field sobriety test, which Barve failed, and a breath test, which indicated that Barve’s blood alcohol level was .10, Wagner said. The legal limit is .08. The sergeant said the results of a breath test are not admissible in court but can help an officer reach a decision on an arrest.
Barve was handcuffed and taken to the Montgomery police station in Gaithersburg, where he was cited with driving under the influence of alcohol, driving while impaired by alcohol, failure to obey a traffic device and failure to drive right of center. The lead charge is more serious than driving while impaired.
Barve’s car, which has Maryland delegate tags, was not impounded. Barve was released just after 1 a.m., Wagner said.
Barve had attended a function Thursday night organized by the Montgomery chapter of the Maryland Municipal League at the Golden Bull Grand Cafe in Gaithersburg, according to Del. Charles E. Barkley (D-Montgomery).
“I didn’t sit with him, but he was there,” Barkley said. “They had a bar; people went up to the bar and bought drinks. I did not see what he was drinking.”
Barve appeared as a guest yesterday morning on Mark Plotkin’s political talk show on WTOP radio. Barve discussed the death of Del. Jane E. Lawton (D-Montgomery) on Thursday, as well as tax increase and slot machine legislation passed in a General Assembly special session last week. Barve did not mention his arrest during the show.
Barve, a graduate of Georgetown University, is the chief financial officer of Environmental Management Services, a Rockville company that cleans toxic waste sites.
Staff writer Miranda S. Spivack contributed to this report.
#7 Sexiest Celebrity DUI Mischa Barton. Still lookin’ Fine in her mugshot.
Now I don’t watch a lot of of network TV, just Movies, the History Channel, Discovery, Scifi, and Espn…mostly. I’m not familiar with the OC other than seeing a couple of promotional clips for it which showed shapely ladies walking around. Still, after browsing for Celebrity DUI’s this was perhaps the most glamorous fingerprint and mug of the whole lot. This year there has been so many Celebrity DUI’s that there is a lot of press on the internet regarding the sexiest Celebrity mugshot. I thought this was right up there with the top. Her rap sheet includes possession of Narcotics which explains the shirt she is wearing. She must have just been down to the head shop in Santa Monica when she started straddling the Center line and the bubblegum machines fired up.
I think the sound kills it (I would suggest watching this with the volume off) but this utube fan tribute is proof that this is the year’s sexiest DUI.
Sexiest DUI-Any doubt?-
Well it’s good to know that Hollywood is drunker than ever. There is a long history of drunkenness in Hollywood but I”ll go into that later. In a sympathetic light, these people face pressures most people couldn’t relate to. No privacy, Paparazzi, sycophants, and the temptations that go along with stardom and money, so I guess I can forgive them. They are still regular people underneath the Glam and stardom, that’s why I think it is a macrocosm of a wide spread problem.
Still, when looking for reasons to stay home and off the road these will do nicely. It’s the dead of winter and it’s time to hibernate. No DUI’s for me knock on laminate. The last thing I need is to be is an obscure person facing a DUI. If I was a celebrity than at least I could afford a top flight attorney and do some cushy time in a jail with an Arts and Craft studio.
Well these are seven more reasons why I am drying out for awhile. It’s time to be signing off and now it’s time for-total relaxation!!!
Well today I was on one of my humor pages (cracked.com) and I ran across a spot they did of utube videos of the top ten drunken celebrities. I added a few my self I found surfing Utube and made it into my Sunday 7 reasons to take the day off. These days I am in a little drying up process. I don’t drink excessive amounts but I do like a beer or five every once and awhile. I am trying to take a little break for awhile and this was much inspiration. Since it is Sunday I though I’d shorten the list to the top seven and make it the top seven reasons why I am going to dry up this week….
These are some good reasons to stay dry.
#1 Famous party boy Kiefer Sutherland
“Kiefer you’re a Pirate man.” I have never been quite so drunk as running straight into a Christmas tree. I do remember one day in my decadent youth Entering a competition to try and run through a wall. (A good reason why I would never want to be a landlord in a college town.) the attempt was unsuccessful and I woke up with some nasty bruises and Rasberries. Well at least Kiefer isn’t doing speedballs anymore-I think he’s settled down.
#2.Trailer Park Queen Superstar Diva Britney Spears
Would anybody want to spend the day with this person? As far as I remember I dated a woman like that once while I was drinking a lot. I think she lived in Aurora Colorado and had three kids in a three room apartment. After the sex is over it’s like, hey, is there a remote control on this drunk woman in denial or what.
This Girl does a pretty good job trying to play Britanny but if shows you that it is very hard part to play!!!! She should audition if the Spears Story ever comes out!
What’s the IQ on Britney? This is proof that intelligence and size of bank account are not correlated. The guy whose filming is a brave guy to hang out with this drunken’ little country Mrs. Bubba-(sorry, I am a snot….)
Impersonation of Britney ordering Pizza
Another pretty good Britney impersonator I found. Better than the last girl but no offense either way…I love spoofs.
#3 Drunken George II back in the early 90’s
This guy is one hell of a smart ass. He reminds me of going to a party with a bunch or young republicans. These guys like to get rip roaring drunk in suits and ties. The one thing though, when I watch this video and ask myself, do I want to party with the Commander and chief, the answer is a definite yes, maybe. Will I be getting any invitations down to Walker, TX-I very much doubt it. Of well, at least I’ll stay sober……
The last one was real but here is one I found that is probably a spoof
You never know though……..
#4 Paula Abdul on morning TV still spun out from the night before
(If you tune in very carefully with headphones you can hear the people on Paula’s Soundstage holding back laughter!) This is why Cocaine was never a drug of choice for me. Just watch her facial tics and her lips and Jaw. I think she was up all night fdrinking Stoli and snorting lines of Coke off Simon’s treasure trail. Anyway this former Rock Star diva can still party, I think I’ll stay home tonight.
Paula Spun out on the shopping channel.
#5 Alex Trabeck from Jeopardy drinking on the set.
You always knew that this guy is probably a jerk off the set- this proves it. A lot of people can get a way with drinking on the job. I’ve worked in Engineering departments where we all go off to lunch on Friday and come back to the office crocked and go back to work. It’s harder to keep it together but than again there are also a lot of coffee and vodka types in the working world. I work better sober…..
This leads to bad things
It appears that Alex has a little momentary loss of control. Notice the tic of him taking an imaginary drink. I think the word strobe set him off. Just my guess.
#6 PAris and NIkki Hilton at a house party
Ok these two little messed up stick figures are actually celebrities. A few observations-
I. They can’t dance
II. They can barely stand up
II. They have more make-up on than a French whore
IV. I’d surely hate to see them with the makeup off
V. These little rich girls are sure stuck-up little rednecks-(“Public School Bitch…??”) I guess that’s an insult.
VI. It’s a good thing Gramps gave there trust funds to charity
I think I’ll stay out of the clubs for a long while.
Here’s a great low budget Paris Hilton spoof video I found
Yes, a girl like that who uses the N word ought to go to jail in LA county!!
#7. David Hasselhoff intervention with his 16 year old daughter.
The older you get the more pathetic you are when you are beyond sloshed. This guys the testament to cumulative effect. Than again before he was on Baywatch this guy was a Rock Star in Germany. This says it all……..come on David, you don’t want to let poor Dirk Nowitski down do you, he’s depending on you for a new album.
Hasselhoff Puppet
Well that’s my Sunday top #7 reasons why I am going to dry out until February. And than even so, these are 7 reasons why moderation is the key.
Well, I can’t figure out what I’m going to do today but regarless, relaxation is the key!!!~
Posted in Uncategorized on January 27, 2008 by magichector
Today I listened to CNN again, (hey that rhymes!!). I was listening to Bill Clinton give a speech in Missouri in support of Mrs. Clinton. My question is this-who the hell is running for president????
Well Obama won South Carolina today and he gave a speech to his supporters that sounded like JFK-(I wasn’t alive at that time but I am channeling that one.) I watched that on the glow box tonight and was super impressed except for my sh&tty Comcast signal…(@#$&*@$&*^) My gut is that the pubs are rooting for Hillary. This guy could take the White House on his charisma alone. Much respect to the Man of change.
I’m getting ready for super Tuesday to get a pulse for what is going on in the election. My roots are coming back to me. When I was a youth I was very into politics and used to wear to suit and tie to high school back in the Reagan Youth days. These days I am rooting for the Dem’s. I quickly turned against Reagan in my junior year when I grew my hair out like Sly and the Family Stone and began smoking d#pe. I’m sure George and Dick are hunting for Bigfoot down in Crawford Texas tonight…get the spotlights out you d&^chebags…..Well anyway these days I am a bald armchair politician…..
Well tonight I kind of took it easy and just had a few Mexican beers and got back into cranking on my book business. Starting around 10 PM I was haunted by the phantom party ship. I could hear a loud party going on somewhere nearby but I couldn’t for the life of me figure out where in the world it was coming from. I walked around my building and looked out my window to the building next door and still couldn’t figure out the source of the raucous occasion. I could hear it loud as day in my apartment. I am not on any drugs and I don’t think a few Mexican beers would cause me to have auditory hallucinations. Luckily it all but shut down around midnight and I am going to try to forget about this strange occurrence. Since I live alone maybe I am going batty or I have been working too hard. No, I am quite sure that I am not cracking up, there really was a party going on somewhere and it was neither in my head or in my pants. I could try to corroborate this event tomorrow with my neighbors as a sanity check but I think I’ll just let this one slide on by. I am reasonably sure I am completely sane, in fact I am saner and more lucent than I have been in a few years.
The party didn’t really bug me, I enjoyed trying to focus in on the cacophony and pick out some of the drunken dialog. When you are not toasted drunken people sound ridiculous especially when there is an aural collage of ten different conversations. I can only imagine what it would be like to be a bartender. 2 Pacificos ain’t going to make me drunk that’s for sure-I am reasonably sure that I am completely sober and completely coherent. I used to be big into crashing parties but tonight wasn’t the night. I am reasonably sure that this was a real party and not the Flying Dutchman….????
I have been getting back to work and when I work I work hard. I have been working all day on my book business. It’s that time of the month when the bills are looming and it’s time to get back to cranking again. I realized again today that I love my job because in a way I invented it. One of my tasks is to list books and in doing so I go through boxes of books, input the isbn #’s into the software I use and if the book isn’t worth anything than I toss it like a Frisbee into a box that I usually position 10 feet away from my computer. I had about a 90% free throw percentage tonight which would put me right up there with the leaders if I was in the NBA. If the book is worth something than I list it and sticker it with a SKU # and box it up to go to my warehouse. I am finally getting all the backlog of inventory I have bought up over the past few years listed and I might actually be able to get my warehouse space cleaned up and looking professional. Than the next task is find more books which I love doing. I go mine the thrift stores, look on craigslist and surf the wholesale markets on the internet. I also do well sometimes just roaming the alleys this time of the month because people are moving and throwing shit out all the time. One day I listed over 200$ worth of books I found discarded in a box in the alley. Lately I have been putting the books that aren’t worth anything on the internet out into the Alley and they disappear quickly. One of my neighbors has requested I leave the box by his door because he’s a fellow book person. At any rate, I have created an occupation for myself that gives me a real flex schedule. My typing speed has increased back up to the level it was when I was a carpal tunnel, mousefingered CAD jockey and pounding away on the computer 40-50 hours a week. I had to switch my mousehand to my left hand because I started developing mousefinger. I learned that if you elevate your forearm than you save yourself from this debilitating condition and I developed a special bracket that I could clamp onto my desk and support my elbow. This made me look weird at work but it saved me from being reduced to a one armed handicapper. Mousefinger is a truly serious condition
These days I have been making a little mad money working for some friends that run a snow removal company. This usually means waking up in the middle of the night and going out to shovel snow and ride around in the plow truck at 3:00 in the morning during a blizzard so the walks can be nice and clean and some pump wearing secretary doesn’t bust her ass on the way into work. It pays well and by god, I’m probably one of the only one’s out there crazy enough to go out and brave the elements in a blizzard. Than again I have also climbed five of the states fourteeners in the dead of winter-I like to play in the snow and Ice!!
The guys I work for are balls to the wall ex-pro Motocross racers with a litany of different injuries that makes the NFL look like flag football. The boss has a broken vertebrae right now and my other co-worker, a South African whom I used to work with in the Engineering world, has a crippled foot, has broken his back, busted his kneecap, torn his shoulder out, and done both his ACL’s. I guess that sport is fun-I know for a fact it is, but I hate being injured. All it took was a broken collarbone to cure me of the Motocross habit when I was a teenager. Anyway, the long short is that I am the strongman on the crew. Therefore I do the heavy work-bust up ice, shovel snow and sling around 50 pound bags of Magnesium Chloride which cuts through the ice, the skin, ruins your clothing, and eventually would probably eat through a stainless steel coffee mug.
Today, I got a call from one of my broken back bosses to go out and do some ice control on one of their accounts. I was happy to leave the computer and get out and earn some extra money. I drove down to meet my boss and suddenly realized that the place I was busting up ice and spreading Mag salt was a housing project. This fact was a bit unnerving. Here I am outside, luckily at noon, making a huge racket scrapping at the northside shadyside ice with a variety of different ice breaking tools. I pictured in my mind some Crack dealer inside one of the units waking up and angrily loading his 9mm. Well luckily this didn’t happen but I was invited into one of the units by a lady to “warm up.” I decided to pass on the offer. She might have been hot in 1979 before the Crystal Meth and the Crack took her out.
Well anyway I didn’t get smoked and I managed to spread 150 lbs of rock salt on the icy snow covered, Antarctic north facing sidewalks to prevent any slip and falls from Crack Dealers or Coke whores. This gave me a wonderful feeling of accomplishment and an incredible sense of pride that, yes, my work here on this planet is indeed important. After that it was back home to the apartment to work on my book business, read my book, and take my afternoon nap to which I’ve become accustomed to since I left the Slave Ship known as the Corporate working world.
Yes, Ladies and Gentlemen I am indeed liberated from the corporate world although I can’t seem to fully replace my 50K salary for which I slaved behind a computer terminal for over 10 years to earn. But than again my hair isn’t falling out in handfuls and I am not having any heart palpitations. In fact, I barely even smoke any weed anymore but I am totally relaxed. My sleep schedule has been thrown off by my side job but who cares, I sell books and stuff on the internet. I can work at 3:00 in the morning. My only real responsibility is getting my orders packaged and handed off to the postman who arrives in the afternoon. Occasionally I make a trip to the local PO and than throw down a few pints at my favorite bar, go home and do the mindless busy work that one can do well being half crocked.
My New Year’s Resolution-never ever again make a resolution. 1st of all I am not a quitter(some of you will laugh or perhaps scoff at this because I have been flaky in the past.) Secondly, never tell yourself that you need to do anything. It’s much easier to try and rewire your subconscious. That’s how I quit smoking weed-I sat down every morning and wrote out 100 times like Bart Simpson that I don’t need to smoke weed, I don’t want to smoke weed, and I certainly don’t want to be looking for a dealer 10 years from now. I hope to be growing it legally by than. I am not going to quit smoking the green, I just need to quit being a pot head because it makes me look, feel, and act like I have down syndrome. Still, I prefer it to alchohol because it doesn’t have the hangover or eat away the lining of my stomach. Third point is-resolutions are for fairies. To me the key to life is being a dynamic person. Never become complacent or flat because than you are just joining the boring brain dead masses.
This evening I am going to wash my hands for the tenth time today to try and get rid of the Mag Chloride and than I am going to get into reading my Stephen King book-Duma Key. I just finished Enemy at the Gates and I will probably never ever read another book about war. The Battle of Stalingrad was the most horrible battle that ever happened on the planet. Some highlights from the book include German prisoners turning to cannibalism to survive Russian POW camps where they don’t even have enough food to feed there own Army, mass suicides by German soldiers in the wake of the collapse of the pocket, Russian soldiers and German soldiers have fierce firefights over a drinking fountain, mass killings, starvation, dead dogs, dead horses, dead sharpshooters; just about everybody died in that battle and if you didn’t than you probably aged about 30 years in the span of 8 months. One thing for sure, I am glad I wasn’t alive at that time and a soldier in either Army or civilian. This was indeed a turning point in history but at the same time I think anyone who is thinking about joining the Armed Forces should read this book. They’ll probably want to join the Salvation Army or the Peace Corp instead.
(Stalingrad)
The story of my life-I need to get motivated-Relaxation is the key……
This morning I got up and looked out the window and saw the sun. I got dressed in a teeshirt, a light sweater and my leather jacket. I put on my I am a geek baseball hat and headed down to my favorite coffee shop to write. I walked outside and froze my ass off! I should have gone home and put on warmer clothes but it’s one of those things-sometimes you get dressed and you end up stuck in the outfit you wore that day because you don’t want to replay the ritual of getting dressed. It’s strange how the mind works.
This morning I was in kind of a grumpy mood at the coffee shop and I tried to sit in the corner, journal, and get my thoughts together when all the sudden my animal magnetism turned on. Why does it always turn on when my mood is sour? I had two ladies, both alone and very doable come in separately, sit down nearby, and started staring at me write. I hate attention when I write-sometimes I just want to hide from the world. But than the question is, why even leave your apartment? That’s the ridiculous juxtaposition, why go out in public to try and be alone? When ever I am feeling social and happy I don’t seem to be able to turn on the pheromones but when I am anti-social women buzz around me like flies on shit.
Anyway, it’s always a sticky situation when you have 2 admirers. One of them looked horny as hell and looked like she needed to be brought into the closest private location and be pumped like hell for 15 minutes. The other one looked more sophisticated and had lots of makeup on-warpaint. These were both women close to my age and you know there’s no gaming around-do you want to copulate like a couple gorillas or what? Anyway, I sat there and fantasized, what if I could pick them both up? It could be plausible but the fact is these were both mature women and one of them looked high maintenance. At any rate, I just decided to get up and go but the female attention brightened up my day. They probably weren’t interested anway and just both happened to sit near me.
One thing for certain is, coffee shops can be better pick up joints than bars. If you can pick up a woman at a coffee shop than you are a better pick-up artist because you aren’t breaking down their defenses with alchohol. I don’t claim to be a pick up artist but I have picked up women randomly before. It’s usually when I don’t even try-that’s the way my life works-if I absolutely give up and sit in the corner than things happen. If I get proactive than I tend to come on too strong and women think I am a sleaze. Anyway, if a bald guy can still go out and pick up a woman than that’s something to be proud of.
Lately my game has been off and I have been more dour than anything. I always keep hope alive in my life though. I can be a pick-up man and a point man-I have it in me. I just need to clear out some mental baggage. The key to life is -don’t sweat the small stuff. That sounds cliche but it’s always worked for me when it comes time clean up the attic. I am a person who’s good at pigeonholing things-people and things. The key is to put people where they belong and leave them there. Let the one’s go that aren’t bringing happiness into your life and open the door for the right people to appear-they will when the time is right. I need to quit telling people off because I can hurt them so bad they’ll turnaround and spread lies and rumors like it’s 8th grade-leave these people where they lie.
Well after the coffee shop I moved next door to Barnes and Nobles. I wanted to check out Stephen King’s new book which is #1 on Amazon right now. I searched through the racks to find the best one with the most perfect dust cover-stated first edition-full # line, and than I went and plopped down 21$ to buy the book. Its been a long time since I have bought a book at retail price. I got 30% off but still-21$ for a book, oh well, its better spent on a good book than buying beers. This morning I made a protective cover for the book using a grocery bag-a skill I picked up in grade school. I figure I’ll sell it for a small profit when I’m done.
I have always admired Stephen King’s writing style because he is good at portraying the psychology of his character’s in a simple, and uncluttered way. He uses the omniscient viewpoint to slowly bring in the suspense and the horror. It’s almost like he’s holding back on the details, filling the reader in slowly, preparing the reader for the shocks, twists, and eiree surprises that lurk further on in the book. The name of the book is Duma Key and I already can’t put it down. I need to get working harder on my business but at least it’s good to be distracted by a book and not something negative. I’ll be done with it in a few days anyway, maybe I’ll even finish it tonight.
Well, the rest of today I am going to spend inside; no more freezing my ass off thinking it’s sunny-this is winter fool! I am going completely underground for awhile and I am going into reclusion. I need to recharge my batteries and lately things haven’t been going well for me on an interpersonal level. I need to find my people but that is going to take change-change on many levels. Anyway-enough personal stuff and until next time……Relaxation is the key to life-go with the flow!!!!
It’s that time again folks to listen to the talking heads debate politics. It’s election time ladies and gentlemen and I for one am nauseated by the political process. The debates are just meaningless posturing on often vague and cloudy issues-the war, the economy, foreign trade deficits, the future of America-all blurry cloudy, and hideously complicated issues if not quagmires. Today I had CNN running in the background and I listened in on the Democratic party political debate between primarily Hilary Clinton and Barack Obama. Occasionally John Edwards would pipe in with his King of the Hill drawl and remind everybody that he was with “the grown up wing of the democratic party.”
This disturbed me-for one thing John Edwards talks almost exactly like the NFL commentator Cris Collinsworth. When I listen to him talk about how grown up he is and that this a three person debate it shows me he’s folded up the tent and should be talking about the injury report for the Super Bowl. The other personalities are just too strong and their historical precedent is too big for this little country bumpkin. He’s just the shiny faced guy, the guy who portrays himself as the common man’s candidate. Still he’s got to get is money somewhere. Maybe he gets donations from the common man who give him the money they saved to renew their Reader’s Digest subscriptions. I guess he was voted to be the sexiest candidate by one of the those grocery store rags. All I can remember him talking about today is how he grew up all over the south in lots of small towns and he feels he can get in touch with these bible belt, white trash, picket fence, Sunday chicken gravy dinner, folks from middle America who actually go out and vote. Maybe they’ll vote for the sexiest man in Washington (I hope not!!!)
I always have taken a keen interest to debates having once been a member of a debating team. I love to argue for the sake of argument and that’s really what today’s finger point session between Barack and Hill sounded like. I wasn’t scoring but I think Hilary won the points by circling them like the Indians would circle a wagon train back in the wild west days. Some of the topics that were being discussed included the individual integrity of the candidates which seemed to degenerate into a I know you are but what am I debate. I could picture Barrack and Hilary slapping their bubble gum and arguing across the cafeteria table-I’m the coolest most popular, no your not, yes I am,, you’re a phony, a fake, a loser; I know you are but what am I?
I remember hearing Hilary talking about how see honored Reagan and showed him respect, did this mean she slobbed his shriveled up old Raisin stick? (Sorry folks, my male chauvinism can’t hold back-maybe Barack will put me in touch with my inner redneck.) Regardless, why in the world were they talking about that anyway? That’s what I get for listening in on that sh*t while I am doing my busy work on the computer.
The biggest problem the democratic party faces is getting the American people to trust the leadership of its progressive candidates. The two leading front runners are an African-American and female respectively. One with very little experience and the other one with a lot of experience- being the first lady to the first Commander and Chief to get a blow job from his aide in the Oval Office (will Monica have a place in the Clinton cabinet?)
Monica and Bill aside, most likely Hill and Barack will join forces for the election and the ticket will have historic implications which the democratic party will exploit and try to get out the minorities and women who normally don’t play into the process heavily. The question is, will these two fold their tents like the Romanian Army when the going gets tough and the world heats up? Your guess is as good as mine but the one encouraging fact is we might actually get someone in the White House with better than average intelligence for once-the only plus that this party seems to offer really.
Hillary seems slippery and Barack seems a little green around the edges and untested but the choice on the other side-, the Elephants, the Republicans looks absolutely morbid, like flies buzzing around a huge pile of Elephant shit. Who in the world are those corpses? The only one I really recognize other than Giuliani and the Mormon scary guy Rominy (or whatever) is John McCain whom I guess is some sort of war hero. He seems moderate enough but military leaders seldom make great president’s. Ike was a mediocre President, US Grant was a drunken terrible president, George Washington was more of a common man’s King than anything else. Teddy Roosevelt rode with the calvary and I guess he was a good president. The last military man we had in the White House was Eisenhower and those were the good old days to my parents-the 50’s-scary as hell if you ask me but definitely an innocent time in American history.
Thank god MacArthur or Patton never had political aspirations or every thing would have been nuked long ago. If I were living in the post MacArthur or Patton presidency today it would be in a kind of existence like the cult movie Road Warrior.
A post apocalyptic existence, fighting it out with other violent tribes for scarce resources like gasoline, oranges, ammunition, and spare parts for my bad assed motorized death machine, whatever that may be. Well thank god MacArthur or George Patton didn’t have political aspirations because the American public is so incredibly dumbed down that they might have put one of those crazies in the White House and WWIII would have come and gone.
Military generals just don’t make good president’s-especially crazy one’s. Patton wanted to keep driving his Hell on Wheels division all the way to the gates of Moscow after WWII. MacArthur wanted to bomb the Chinese mainland during the Korean war. These guys just don’t stop until lots of people are dead. I don’t know that much about McCain but I know that he comes from a military background-not a good thing. The question is does he have the altruistic heart of a civilian leader or the cold lets take some casualties mind of a general.
Never the less, our civilian leader George Bush certainly doesn’t have too big a heart. His presidency also killed a lot of people. The history books will tell but I think he’s created more problems for the future than anything else. His foreign policy of unilateral policing with the military is a poor precedent and the rest of the world is watching well Rome is in flames. Bush’s biggest problem is that the economy is tanking in his last lame duck year in office which is going to hurt the Republican candidates as much as his failed foreign policy. It looks like we’ll be in Iraq for some time and are military is bogged down and tied up in such a fashion that if some other crazy did something against US interests our hands would be tied. Thank god I am not of draft age. Than again the Germans drafted 40 year olds and sent them to the Russian front to freeze to death and get shot by 13 year old Russian partisan female fighters. An evil leader will burn through human resources just like Hitler did and in the end leave the doors open for the lice infested Russian army to come into the country and rape every woman in sight like Germany in 1944.
I look at the current group of candidates and ask myself if I see Hitler-well, maybe it’s the Mormon guy. He has strong values but underneath it all does he really believe some farmer dug up a bunch of golden tablets in his backyard in upstate New York? Does he talk to the UFO people. Are the UFO people going to have a say in the way the government in this country is run? I’m sorry but the Mormons with their doomsday food stockpiles and child brides aren’t right for the leadership of this country. If they win I am heading for Alaska to become a Salmon farmer and marry some Eskimo girl, reside in an igloo, and live off imported fruit and fish I pull up through the ice. Maybe I’ll sign up for Satellite T V so I can watch the end of the world from the comfort of my own igloo. Maybe the UFO people will want to join me for some wine poached salmon and Apple-Banana waffles.
Sometimes I wonder if the UFO people went down to Crawford, Texas, met with GWB, threw their hands up in the air, and left in disgust. We’re not touching this guy, he’s an idiot, a ringer, a daddy’s boy, a former President of the Texas Ranger’s for god sake . That being quite an accomplishment- he brought in steroid monsters like Rafael Palmeiro and Jose Canseco, and geriatric red neck bullies like Nolan Ryan, to build a mediocre team that never had a shot at the World Series let alone the playoffs. He did get some money to build a new ball park so all those King of the Hill Texans could get in their car and drive half way across the largest state in the nation to sweat their asses off at a hot, humid, boring baseball game played in the hot muggy Texas summer. He was the governor of Texas, a state with the most barbecues per capita, where people’s naked asses expand to twice the size that they present for the public when they pull on those wranglers in the morning. A state where high school football is King-this is an important anomaly because high school football players suck! High school football players are usually out of control bullies and shallow stupid jocks who do anything to try and fit in the crowd even if it means selling their own sister as a cheap ho for the gang bang on Friday night. Friday night Lights and the great state of Texas where our commander in chief is probably down on his ranch hunting for Bigfoot with Dick Cheney and receiving fellatio from Condi Rice during long briefing sessions.
Moving away from politics and on to the much more interesting topic of Cryptozoology. A Cryptid is a creature that is unclassified and his existence is doubtful but perhaps plausible. Examples of Cryptids are the Sasquatch, Nessie, Champ, and the Yeti. There are hundreds of lessor known Cryptids, many of which are the stuff of local legend. Recently, I was reading about a Cryptid in Texas called the Lake Worth Goatman. This bigfoot like creature was reportedly sighted in 1969 and later shot by the local police. They never found the body. Supposedly this creature was covered with white body hair and had a strong stench. As a skeptic one would point out that there are a lot of people in Texas that smell, a lot of unkempt types with lots of body hair, Texans are often as collectively drunk as they are stupid, and that since they never found a body, maybe the police were on something.
I doubt it, policemen don’t lie. This was a big story in the Dallas area and they had bigfoot hysteria. If bigfoot is in Texas than GWB probably has taken a few errant shots at him on his Crawford Ranch. Cheney probably had a point blank shot but smoked his Secret Service guy by accident. Any way here’s an interesting article on the Texas Bigfoot.
Bigfoot in Texas?
By Craig Woolheater, 2002
Some people think that the Bigfoot phenomenon is strictly a Pacific Northwest occurrence. They would be sadly mistaken. There have been reported sightings in every state in the Union with the exception of Hawaii.
There is a common misconception of Texas terrain as being nothing but prairies and deserts, with a lone tumbleweed rolling by. I’m sure that most people who have never been to Texas, form their opinion from watching the television show “Dallas” in the eighties. In East Texas, which is where the majority of the reported sightings of Bigfoot occur in the state, there is nearly 12 million acres of forestland. That is equivalent to 12 million football fields. There are four national forests and five state forests in Texas, all located in East Texas, the primary and most important forest area in Texas. The East Texas Pine Belt, or “Piney Woods” as it is commonly called, extends over forty-three counties and accounts for almost all the state’s commercial timber.
There has been a long history of sightings in the state of Texas. One of the first in the history books is the strange case of the “The Wild Woman Of The Navidad”. This is a story that was recounted in the Legends of Texas published by the Texas Folklore Society in 1924. The creature was described as covered in short brown hair and was very fast. She eluded capture because the horses were so afraid of the strange creature that they could not be urged within reach of the lasso. These events occurred in 1837 in the Texas settlements of the lower Navidad. Mysterious barefoot tracks were seen frequently in the area. There are Native American legends dating back hundreds of years that describe tribes of giants that were hair-covered and lived in the woods.
A report that I came across years ago was written up in a Bigfoot newsletter in 1970. It was written by a man from California who shared a barracks in the Army with 2 soldiers from Longview. He wrote “In or about the year 1965, there was a rash of reports of giant hairy creatures roaming the thickets and back country between Jefferson and Longview, Texas, but nearest to Longview. A man and his little daughter reported it as being a large, black and not a bear. Several head of cattle and a couple of people were supposedly killed by it. Private Jacobs was a member of a posse that hunted the creature when he was a teenager. He told me that he saw the body of one of the murdered persons and that the victim had been torn apart. At the time, he threw his gun back in the car and went home. I can’t blame him, he was only 14 or 15 at the time.”
We started investigating this case by digging through the newspaper and library archives in Marshall and Jefferson, finally finding an article dated September 1st, 1965 that mentions the Marion County Monster Legend. The article was titled “Boy Says For Real Sighting of Monster Renews Marion Legend.” The story is about a 13 year old boy who was chased by an ape-like creature while walking home from a friend’s house one afternoon. 2 men picked the boy up in a car and drove him home. The boy described it as “about 7 feet tall with thick long black hair all over its body except for the face—the face, stomach and palms of its hands.” Marion County Deputy Sheriff George Whatley investigated the scene, but found no evidence of a large animal having been there. A UPI clipping, dated September 20, 1965, from Jefferson, Texas, entitled “Town Fed Up With Monster Hunters” was also found concerning the incident. Sheriff Luke Walker is quoted as being upset by the Bigfoot hunters from three states who had overrun his small northeast-Texas town since a thirteen-year-old boy came running out of the woods three weeks earlier telling of seeing a big, black hairy thing.
Charles DeVore of Karnack, one of our members, started doing some follow up investigation, using the names found in the articles. Sheriff Luke Walker and Deputy George Whatley had both passed away. He went to current Jefferson law officers who were very helpful and directed him to one who worked for Sheriff Luke Walker back in the early 70’s. This officer related that he had spent many hours with Sheriff Walker back then talking over events of his career and their was no possibility that any Bigfoot killed anyone around Marion County during the 60’s or any other time in Jefferson history. This officer even called several people that he knew that were around back then and none of them knew of any Bigfoot killing.
Next on the list was Dwain Dennis who owned the Jefferson Jimplecute at that time. Charles found him to be in good health and with a very sharp memory. He corroborated the Marshall News Messenger story about the 13-year-old kid who claimed to have been chased by a Bigfoot. He had interviewed the kid himself that day. He related that something had scared him very bad but to this day is not sure what it was. He feels that the tracks that he found were all faked evidence.
He and his wife spent all their spare time for about 6 weeks researching into that story and a few related stories that sprang up from the original. His newspaper articles generated calls from throughout the country and from several foreign countries. Many other stories sprang up in other media and tabloids and got embellished from there. While many people did come to Jefferson to learn more or chase down embellished rumors, or hunt down the imaginary killer Bigfoot, there was no posse organized to hunt it down. All the wild stories were generated by other outlets and totally false. He stated that there were no killings in or around Marion County or Jefferson that could even remotely be blamed on a Bigfoot.
Photo purported to be of the Lake Worth Monster, taken by Allen Plaster, used with permission of Sallie Ann Clarke
Probably the most famous of these reports is the case of the Lake Worth Monster. This case hit the public consciousness in the summer of 1969. While America was caught up in the moon landing, sightings of this hairy creature were being reported in the Greer Island area of Lake Worth in Fort Worth, Texas. The animal was described as being approximately seven feet tall, weighing in the neighborhood of three hundred pounds, covered with white hair and walked upright like a man. It was seen repeatedly throughout the year and during July the area was packed with locals who had witnessed the beast. At one point it was said to have become annoyed at the onlookers and hurled an automobile wheel and tire at them from the distance of five hundred feet. Needless to say, they leapt into their cars and departed the area post haste.
The last sighting of the creature that year was by Charles Buchanan on November 7. He was sleeping in the open bed of his pickup truck and was awakened when his sleeping bag was suddenly grabbed by a creature and was pulled from the truck. He stuffed a bag of chicken in its mouth and it shuffled off into the water and swam towards Greer Island.
This series of events was the impetus of my interest in this field. I was a child of nine years old that summer and my grandparents lived in Fort Worth. They had a boat on Eagle Mountain Lake, which was separated by a dam from Lake Worth. I can still remember seeing the headlines in the Fort Worth Star Telegram about the “Goatman”. We spent many a night anchored out in the middle of the lake and my imagination ran rampant with all manner of scenarios of the monster climbing aboard our boat.
That same summer something was going on in the Sulphur River bottoms near Commerce, Texas. Jerry Matlock and Kenneth Wilson saw a creature that they described as about eight feet tall, man-like in posture and covered with brown hair. They went back the next day and found footprints left by the beast. “I put my arm down in one of the prints” Matlock recalled, “and that print was as long as from my elbow to the tips of my outstretched fingers”. Our group has recently contacted Mr. Wilson and we are planning to go with him to the site.
There were two separate sightings in the same area in September of 1973 near the town of Peerless. Again they were in the Sulphur River bottoms. Are we beginning to detect a pattern here?
Later that fall, Kenneth Thurman of Paris, Texas had an encounter with what he described as “a hairy bipedal creature over eight feet tall”. This occurred thirty miles Northeast of Commerce, Texas. Once again it was not far from the Sulphur River. Mr. Thurman was making butane gas deliveries in a rural community. He stopped the truck and he and a co-worker stepped outside to relieve themselves. They noticed a foul odor in the air. They spotted a long shadow moving toward the back of the truck. Mr. Thurman found himself facing the rapidly approaching creature that was as tall as the butane tanks on the truck. “That thing wasn’t four feet from me when I dove into that truck,” Thurman said. “Listen, I’m a hunter and I’m not scared of the woods or anything in it, but that thing reached out for me and I was afraid for my life. I don’t know what I’d have done if it caught me. It must have come out of the woods from behind the truck. We dove in, threw that truck in gear and took off. Bet it wasn’t two seconds from the time I saw that thing until we took off.” Thurman got a better look at the creature in the side mirror as he sped off. After making the deliveries, the men had to take the only route back to the highway, the same road they had come in on. Thurman sped through the area and entered the highway.
At this point they saw it for a second time. It was running in the same direction as the truck, seventy five yards out in a field. The road curved ahead, but before the creature crossed their path, it ran into the woods. “I was doing about sixty miles per hour and it was outrunning the truck,” Thurman said. He reported the incident to his company but he was laughed at.
We received a report from a woman that was traveling to Lake O’ The Pines with her husband and daughter. She saw a large, ape-like creature squatting down next to the fence line as they drove past it. The only movement she detected was its head turning to face them as they drove by. Her daughter turned around in the back seat and watched it stand up and run off after they passed it. This took place on a Friday evening in the summer of 1974.
From November of 1974 through August of 1976 there were numerous sightings in the San Antonio area culminating in two sightings near Kelly Air Force Base. A witness saw a seven-foot-tall brown Bigfoot run out of his backyard. A few days later his next-door neighbor saw a three-foot-tall brown creature sitting on her back step. It then ran off on two legs.
The summer of 1976 brought a sighting in Hallsville, Texas where a witness saw a twelve-foot-tall silver-haired Bigfoot shucking corn. A smaller red-tinged female creature accompanied it. This location is in close proximity to Caddo Lake, where we have received several sighting reports. We are actively conducting research in this area and investigating reports of Bigfoot sightings and activity.
July 6 of 1977 three witnesses saw the “Hawley Him”, and it threw rocks at them. This occurred at the Abilene Boys Ranch near Hawley, Texas. The next month, three women saw a Bigfoot on the road near Trinidad, Texas, which borders Cedar Creek Lake. Two weeks later a man saw a seven-foot-tall Bigfoot on a road near Corsicana, which is in the same general area.
In January of 1978, a woman in Sand Hill reported to the Harrison County Sheriff’s Department that a Bigfoot growled at her, and was fighting with some dogs in the woods in the community about eight miles west of Marshall on U.S. Hwy. 80.
In June of 1978, in the town of Vidor, Texas, a couple had so many sightings of a Bigfoot around their house that they were forced to move out. August of 1978 brought a flap of activity to the Commerce, Texas area in the vicinity of guess where? The Sulphur River bottoms. On the nineteenth, in broad daylight, a witness saw a Bigfoot cross the road ahead of them and it went across a pasture towards the river. Also that month a witness saw a seven-and-a-half- foot-tall Bigfoot cross a forty-two foot wide road in three steps while he was driving at night. Two days later on the same road, three boys saw a Bigfoot around midnight.
There have been several reports out of the Woodlawn area. A family out after visiting family on Easter Sunday decided to stop to commune with nature while the husband did a little target practice. After only a few shots, a large animal lunged at them and chased them back to their car. On New Year’s Eve 1996, a mother and her son saw a large animal crouched down on the side of the road.
In the fall of 1987, a deer hunter on the southeast side of Benton Lake off Big Cypress Bayou above Caddo Lake observed a large, hair covered animal stand up from a crouched position in 1 foot of water. The creature did not detect the camouflaged hunter as it turned its head from side to side, walked out of the water and disappeared into the woods.
In January 1992, the Hamilton Herald News printed a lengthy letter by a man that claimed that while driving home from Stephenville late at night with his family, they saw a huge, hairy creature on the riverbank. Here, in part, is what the letter said: “It stood, I would say, approximately seven to eight feet tall, weighing probly (sic) between four to five hundred pounds. Its body was covered with hair. It had long arms that extended down to its knees. Its face looked almost human…It looked at us and growled a low moan, showing four fang-like teeth, two on top, two on the bottom, and the rest flat like humans. Then it hurled over the guard rail and ran off into the night toward the brush along the river banks on the west side…For the record, we were not drunk or doing drugs or anything like that, and we have respectable jobs in this and surrounding towns. We are not crackpots. I thought maybe there are others living here who have had a similar experience and would come forward now that the door is open to talk about it.”
It did have that effect on Hilda Lunsford. She wrote the newspaper telling about her experience early one morning in 1985 while driving between Olin and Cranfills Gap. “A huge thing came out on the side of the road and got right in front of the car and stood up on its hind legs and I stopped and locked my doors an the car and waited to see what it was going to do,” Ms. Lunsford wrote. “It looked right at me and it had a face of an ape and it was [a] big black something…Yes I was laughed at for telling about it, but every word is true.”
Still image taken from video shot by Danny Sweeten
On October 5, 1995, Danny Sweeten had an encounter near Cleveland, Texas, forty miles North of Houston. While out surveying some land he was considering buying, he came upon a creature lying on the ground. The animal rose on two legs and ran toward Sweeten. It hit him in the chest and caught him under the chin with its forearm, flipping him over and knocking two teeth loose. He was dazed, but managed to shoot some video as the creature retreated into the woods. He quickly left the area.
Sweeten was harassed by an investigator from a non-existent government agency the man named as the Federal Wildlife Protection Agency. He was told to turn over the tape. Sweeten eventually sold the tape to the television show Strange Universe. The footage was shown on November 3, 1997, along with comments by several well-known Bigfoot researchers. Loren Coleman was interviewed along with Danny Sweeten on Art Bell’s radio program Coast to Coast. This is where I first learned of the incident. Luke Gross investigated this case before forming the Texas Bigfoot Research Center. His opinion is that this footage is genuine and shows an animal, not a man in a suit.
In November of 1998 2 squirrel hunters encountered an eight-foot-tall hair-covered creature near Longview. One of them shot at it 3 times. The creature grunted as if hit, then roared loudly. They ran through the woods, towards one of the hunter’s home. It followed them, running upright through the woods, making its own trail to their left, keeping pace with them. They felt that it could have caught them at any time, however it stopped once they reached the clearing near the house. It remained in the wood line, circling the house, roaring and shaking the trees. A pig came up missing that night. The homeowner went out to investigate. He shined his spotlight and saw the creature again, taking another shot at it.
In December of 2001, a deer hunter saw a “7-foot upright stooped ape like figure dark brown in color.” This was near Marshall. He observed it for 2 minutes through his riflescope from a distance of at least 150 yards. He observed it picking up apples that the hunter had put out to attract deer.
We received 2 reports of sightings in Harleton in 2003. One was an 8-foot Bigfoot crossing Highway 154 in front of a car at the Little Cypress Bayou. The other was repeated activity and sightings at a dog kennel near Harleton.
There is a common denominator to most of the reports listed here: water. All occurred near a lake, river or creek. Many of the encounters took place near the Sulphur River or one of its tributaries. The Sulphur River runs through the city of Commerce and winds its way throughout Northeast Texas. It exits the state of Texas South of Texarkana, near the area where the reports of the Fouke Monster originated. These reports were the basis for the 1970’s movie “The Legend of Boggy Creek”.
So as is plain to see, when someone says that there are no Bigfoot creatures in Texas, I would clearly have to disagree.
References:
Bord, Janet and Bord, Colin, The Bigfoot Casebook, Stackpole Books, PA, 1982
Clarke, Sallie Ann, The Lake Worth Monster of Greer Island, Ft. Worth, Texas, author, TX, 1969
Clarke, Sallie Ann, personal correspondence and in-person interview, 1999 & 2004
Coleman, Loren, Deep in the Heart of Texas, Fate Magazine, OH, February, 1998
Green, John, State and Province Sightings Data
Jackson, Kathy, Sasquatch Watch, Dallas Morning News, TX, February 27, 1992
Jones, Mark and Smith, Teresa Ann, Has Bigfoot moved to Texas?, Fate Magazine, OH, July, 1979
Texas Folklore Society, Legends of Texas, Publications of the Texas Folklore Society
Well football season is in full swing. Last Sunday pitted two of the biggest idiot quarterbacks who ever played the game. Philip Rivers vs. Tom Brady. It was actually a good game. I don’t remember the second game as well because I crept off to the local bar to get drunk. Just watching the battle of the dunces, the douchebags, two big oafs who can barely walk but can still move around in the pocket and take hits from goliath sized NFL linemen and linebackers was enough to drive me to drink.
Inside the head of an NFL douchebag…Just imagine Shawn Merriman, salivating from Roid rage, breathing frosty fire, staring at you across the line. You can barely walk but you get the snap, take a seven step drop and get rid of the ball, and than crack, the 250 pound beast smacks into you. Oh well, the trainer can numb the pain with the needle. Tomorrow night I won’t be able to walk but today, I’m a her0, an NFL quarterback. In ten years, I’ll be all Prosthetics’s, I gave my body and my ligaments to professional sports. When it comes to average everyday activities- get out the oil can, the tin man walks. A life of pain but definitely some gain. An NFL douchebag!
Philip Rivers is kind of a self-parody, but still, he can hobble around in the pocket with two bad legs. Secretly I was rooting for the guy. I would like to see the Patriots take a fall-I hate dynasties and I am always pulling for the underdog. Still, in a way the Chargers have become America’s anti-team.A team that is hard to like-sure you respect them but to actually root for Philip Rivers?? I am not sure what the world is coming to .
Well anyway, I have a football hangover. This year I may just go skiing during the Superbowl. I am tired of the hype and tired of the sport in a way. The older I get the more the players look like little babies, with big egos, big bank accounts, and tiny dinosaur brains. This is Americana-and football sucks, just an excuse to get drunk and go home and pass out with a dry mouth and an empty spirit.
Well these days I am trying to get up to speed with the political elections. The candidates are similar to NFL quarterbacks; they are easily parodied. I have CNn running in the background and I am getting used to Barrack Obamas voice. He sounds very commanding, very articulate. Hillary sounds like an Ivy League lawyer and John Edwards sounds like a country bumpkin. The pubs, forget them all. The Mormon guy scares me-Blockbuster in the Whitehouse? Recently I have heard that the Morman church is a huge supporter of the Coca Cola company. And Mormons don’t even use caffeine? What is the world coming to .
I know who the top three are but I am trying to figure who the rest of these donkey’s are. A very depressing endeavor indeed-oh well, enough politics and on to me, myself and I…
Well the Dow Jones is crashing and the country is moving into a recession. Hopefully the book business is recession proof. There’s lots to think about and much to ponder but change is in the air. I need to figure out who the donkey’s are in the squares . These guys are even more scary and depressing but I need to figure out who these guys are as well. Much to do and so little time….
I’ll leave with this final image-something much more inspirational than the election and proof that the phallus and and the artistic spirit is alive in America! Teasing the Cock! This is some kind of crazy tradition in New Jersey, (I think). (I got this and the image on the top of the AFC Douchebags from my favorite all-time sports blog-Kissing Suzy Kolber
Photos: Celebrity Mug Shots
